Sunday, July 14, 2019

Let Me Speak - Andrew

Depression & Regrets

I haven’t been on FB or social media much the last couple of years. But when i do, i have noticed that depression & people struggling with depression seem more common on social media lately. Maybe it’s just amplified by the current divisive political climate we seem to live in. The tribalism. And the anxiety that can cause. Or the rash of high profile suicides of people we admired like Robin Williams & Anthony Bourdain who seemingly had it all...that makes us seem even more hopeless about our own situations. 

Maybe for some it’s truly genetic or chemical. Or being at an age where regrets can suddenly weigh heavy & crush our normally positive spirits. Or perhaps it’s an illness that rocks our world, and leaves us asking endless loop questions like ‘why me?’ Or maybe it’s the sudden loss of a loved one, or two, or three that has caused you to plunge into darkness & despair. 

Whatever it is, there is no more helpless feeling than true depression. The darkness. The seeming hopelessness. Or pointlessness of it all. Of being stuck in a moment you can’t get out of. I may not have been much help the last few years to those struggling, but I have been there. I am there.

My grief counselor said to let go of all the ‘should haves’ and ‘wasn’t suppose to bes’ about Tommy & Mara...that they are only regrets. And regrets are just thoughts about the past crippling us in the present.

Good advice. But does it really help when we are at our darkest?

I am not here to offer a panacea or cute phrase that will magically lift you out of depression. I don’t think such simplistic answers always reach us in our darkest moments. However true they may be. 

If things are truly bad. Reach out to a friend. Or call a hotline. For someone to listen.

Maybe your darkness won’t let you take such action. Please do. But if you can’t or won’t...just know this...these feelings tend to come in waves. And they DO pass. Sometimes they feel like they won’t. But they will. 

My advice, if I have any, is to ride it out. Just hang in there for another moment. Another hour. Another day. Distract yourself any way you can. Don’t give into the darkness. And it will lift. Even just a little to give you a glimmer of hope. And then you can take some positive action...until the next wave hits.

Be kind to yourself & those around you

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