Let Me Speak - James

 I noticed that today, I surpassed 2,000 walking miles this calendar year. To me, it's noteworthy not as an accomplishment, but as a sign of how much time I've spent alone. I have also read over a hundred books  this year as well, yet another sign of time spent alone.

I won't celebrate these as accomplishments, except to be grateful for the friends that have joined me. If you're feeling lonely, isolated, and invisible, please reach out. We can walk; we can talk; or we can just enjoy the silence. Together.

Let Me Speak - Joel

I disappeared for awhile because I was (and still am) struggling with clinical depression. But today was a good day. A hopeful day. I want to thank everyone who responded to my posts & gofundme link. Whether you donated or sent me an encouraging word it really meant a lot. It gave me hope. I have a long way to go. Depression is a tricky thing. Whether it’s chemical or brought on by trauma or exacerbated by financial insecurity, the effects can be crippling, even deadly. It’s good to share. And if my story encourages anyone to be open about their own struggles with depression, all the better. Sometimes people can be a fully functioning depressive. You’d never know they were struggling at all. That was me for awhile. But then that person can fall into a major depression & isolate. This can be dangerous because all other things fall by the wayside. Relationships. Work. Bills. Mortgage. Etc. And then they wake up to find their outer life in as much chaos as their inner life. And things get even worse. That’s where I am. When dealing with depression you need stability. You need to be in a safe space. That’s what I am trying to fix now. My gofundme is not a cash grab. I am really working hard to save my house & will use the money to pay down debt by buying a used car to drive for lyft on top of my regular job as i work on my inner life with a therapist. The closer i get to my goal the less anxious i get. I also hope to pay it forward down the road. If I can pay every single person back I will. Thank you so much for listening. For sharing my story. For donating. Or for sending me words of encouragement. All appreciated. Sending you good vibes in return.

Let Me Speak - Zack

Personal Note: I’m really tired of saying “OK” when people ask me how I’m doing. I’m not really OK; I’m struggling. I’m doing fine professionally, but personally, I’m sad, lonely, anxious and isolated...and I’m an introvert. (Yes, introverts can get lonely). I know others are struggling as well. As alone as I may feel most of the time, I know that I’m not actually alone in this.

Sometimes I see these memes pop across my feed to promote mental health awareness. Maybe they do some good; I certainly hope so. But I think what might matter more is to just reduce the stigma of depression, anxiety and other mental health issues. People need to be open about their struggles without fear of judgment.

For those that don’t know me well, I might appear to be thriving. Social media can be deceptive. We try to eat well, and I’m always coming up with ideas for weekend adventures. But it’s hard. I feel drained and on edge. And I just don’t know how to recharge my batteries.

I honestly don’t want anyone to worry about me. I just need to deal with my own crap in my own way. I may reach out to some of you, and while I really do appreciate others touching base with me from time to time, right now I’m just kind of spent. I’m grateful to have enough work to provide me with energy, focus and the opportunity to help other people deal with their problems. But immersing myself in work is not a long-range solution for me; in fact, it’s not a great short-term solution either.

The point of this post, to the extent there is one, is just to encourage anyone else who might be struggling to reach out. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to actually talk, but I’ll always listen.

Let Me Speak - Hannah's Mother

I cannot be with her in person, but today is a very special day for the Duke family. This is the day, seven years ago, that Hannah Duke decided to recover from anorexia. I’ll post her reasons for choosing this date next. Of course, I hope everyone knows that it is a long and painful journey to get to that point, and afterwords, recovery is not linear.
Even now, she needs to be careful to maintain her mental health regarding her eating disorder. It can be triggered (mentally), not in behavior, by so many things. She lives in NYC, ground zero for eating disorders. Most of her friends have disordered eating. Many of her friends take 3-4 exercise classes A DAY, EVERY DAY, wearing their Apple watches to check their calories burned each hour.
Anorexic fashion models people the streets. And everywhere, people talk about food ad nauseum. Not in terms of how delicious something is, but is it “healthy," is it “good” food ,etc. all euphemisms for diet culture whether they know it or not. That would not trigger you maybe, but it sets off alarms in the minds of someone with disordered eating. I usually write how happy we are about Hannah’s recovery, but today, I thought it might be better to talk about her recovery. Hannah volunteers for NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association), talking to people who have called the hotline. She has become a resource for many friends who have this mental illness.
If you know somebody who needs help or someone to talk to, please let me know me and I’ll give them Hannah’s number.

Mental Health During COVID-19: Let Me Speak - David

Like many of you, I’m not OK. Unlike many of you, I’ve had to deal with bouts of depression and anxiety most of my adult life. I usually do a pretty poor job of reaching out when I’m most vulnerable, but focusing on work normally helps me escape my own inner demons. Currently, I'm not handling downtime very well.

If we haven’t communicated in a while, I would love to take this time to catch up. If you are struggling, I can still be a friendly ear. I’m really just trying to approach this day-by-day.

While I have more than my fair share of social anxiety, I also know that I truly value my connections with people. I may be reaching out to some of you more than I typically would, but I want all of you to feel comfortable to reach out to meet if you need to chat, reconnect or just get out of your own head for a few minutes. 

Let Me Speak - Jacqueline

Loving a drug addict is the hardest thing you will ever do. Watching someone you love, that has fought so hard to beat addiction, throw everything away and sink back into a life that will most likely lead to jail or death, is one of the hardest things some will ever do. Even though all you want is to help them get back to a clean, healthy, and sober life, at some point, you realize you are enabling the addiction, as you have so many times before. You continue enabling them by always listening to the excuses, blaming yourself, and being there to bail them out. You want to grab and shake them and say "You have so much to live for and so many that love you, why do you continue doing this with your life?" But, at some point you realize that wouldn't make a difference no matter how much you love them or how hard you try to help them. So you sit on the sidelines and watch the tragedy unfold, feeling helpless to stop it, feeling like you haven't done enough to help, when in the end, the only truth to it all is, you can only begin to help the addict when the addict decides to help themselves.

Battling a drug addiction is a beast for the person addicted and the ones who love them. It's heartbreaking and earth shattering. So l am asking you to stand with me in prayer for every family member and friend who has lost or is losing their battle with drugs and alcohol and those who continue to conquer it!

Let Me Speak - Paul

Hi everyone. I am going on a long internal journey & won’t be active on social media indefinitely. Not that I have been very active recently. But I won’t be on at all for awhile. I was going to cancel my account, but didn’t want to alarm anyone. Figured this simple post will suffice for now. Thanks for all the support these last couple of years. Much appreciated. I know i didn’t post or interact as much as I used to. Sorry about that. But I hope some of my posts helped you tho. I did try to be positive. Even about sad topics. I will be back. I just don’t know when. Until then sending out good vibes & a big hug to all those who need it. You are loved. Remember to always be kind to yourself & others. Love is the answer. Namaste.

Let Me Speak - Daniel

My wife doesn't have patience with my father or sister, especially because their bipolar illness makes them irresponsible with money. But, she has been so awesome with me when I had depression on and off. I am so thankful for her support.

Let Me Speak - Cara

I have been on medication for postpartum as well as for anxiety ever since perimenopause started nine years ago. Medication helps me.

Let Me Speak - Melissa

My husband has an uncle who is currently being institutionalized for a combination of alcoholism and bipolar disorder. It's been a tough few weeks so far.

Let Me Speak - Natalie

My father and sister are bipolar, but are not being treated. My mother is doing the best she can as a caregiver, but they give her so much needless stress.

Let Me Speak - Emma

I have survivors guilt and I'm still processing moving forward in this new reality. I don't blame myself. I just miss her. But, I'm focusing on the good and rebuilding. Hopefully, I can help others along the way.

Let Me Speak - Marc

Honesty and sharing our stories...our truth, is the best way to remove the social stigma of any kind of depression. We are all struggling in our own ways. I always thought I was well versed in the signs. But after my brother suddenly died, even though I saw my girlfriend and was communicating with her...sending her love & support, I maybe missed some signs. I don’t know. In hindsight I see them. I go over and over in my head what I could have done or said differently. She was sounding so much better. And I was days away from seeing her again. When she sent me a video of her blowing me a kiss, I smiled and wrote something silly back to her. I didn’t know she was kissing me goodbye. I think about that a lot. I just don’t want what happened to her to happen to anyone else. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

Let Me Speak - Andrew

Depression & Regrets

I haven’t been on FB or social media much the last couple of years. But when i do, i have noticed that depression & people struggling with depression seem more common on social media lately. Maybe it’s just amplified by the current divisive political climate we seem to live in. The tribalism. And the anxiety that can cause. Or the rash of high profile suicides of people we admired like Robin Williams & Anthony Bourdain who seemingly had it all...that makes us seem even more hopeless about our own situations. 

Maybe for some it’s truly genetic or chemical. Or being at an age where regrets can suddenly weigh heavy & crush our normally positive spirits. Or perhaps it’s an illness that rocks our world, and leaves us asking endless loop questions like ‘why me?’ Or maybe it’s the sudden loss of a loved one, or two, or three that has caused you to plunge into darkness & despair. 

Whatever it is, there is no more helpless feeling than true depression. The darkness. The seeming hopelessness. Or pointlessness of it all. Of being stuck in a moment you can’t get out of. I may not have been much help the last few years to those struggling, but I have been there. I am there.

My grief counselor said to let go of all the ‘should haves’ and ‘wasn’t suppose to bes’ about Tommy & Mara...that they are only regrets. And regrets are just thoughts about the past crippling us in the present.

Good advice. But does it really help when we are at our darkest?

I am not here to offer a panacea or cute phrase that will magically lift you out of depression. I don’t think such simplistic answers always reach us in our darkest moments. However true they may be. 

If things are truly bad. Reach out to a friend. Or call a hotline. For someone to listen.

Maybe your darkness won’t let you take such action. Please do. But if you can’t or won’t...just know this...these feelings tend to come in waves. And they DO pass. Sometimes they feel like they won’t. But they will. 

My advice, if I have any, is to ride it out. Just hang in there for another moment. Another hour. Another day. Distract yourself any way you can. Don’t give into the darkness. And it will lift. Even just a little to give you a glimmer of hope. And then you can take some positive action...until the next wave hits.

Be kind to yourself & those around you

Let Me Speak - Maureen

My depression comes and goes in waves. Every once in a while a huge surfer-sized wave comes along. I've recently climbed out of that one. It's never easy. I try to stay strong and keep swimming. The tides always turn ... eventually.

#NeverAgain

First they came for the Communists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Communist

Then they came for the Socialists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Socialist

Then they came for the trade unionists
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a trade unionist

Then they came for the Jews
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Jew

Then they came for me
And there was no one left
To speak out for me

First they came for the Muslims
And I did not speak out
Because I was not a Muslim

Then they came for the asylum seekers
And I did not speak out
Because I was not an asylum seeker

Then they came for the children
And I did not speak out
Because we have dehumanized mankind

How many deaths will it take this time?
Because the first poem is about the holocaust
And we, all, are letting it happen again

Why aren't children in cages
On the first page
Of every newspaper in America all days?

Why aren't the bots and trolls
Transmitting this message
So we can love

#Again

Let Me Speak - Emily

"I can definitely relate to stigma from others on having had postpartum depression. When I was going through that time period, my mother and mother-in-law helped me out a lot before I had my medication stabilized. I found out from my husband that his mother was upset that I was going through it. She didn't say it to my face, but I think she thought less of me because of it. Later on, when she was recovering from surgery on cancer that appeared on her spine that metastasized to her brain, she experienced panic attacks. I told her she could call me any time to help her through those attacks, since I had experienced many. I never judged her as she had judged me.”